Dear Lounge Advice, My wife is Bi. I support her FF play because I know she has strong urgings in that regard, and want her to be happy. Because my wife also enjoys the fellas, we both prefer that FF play be a side dish and that the main event involve mostly MF swap so we both have fun. Our problem though is that most of the time, the opposite happens, and our couples sessions turn out to be mostly FF (or FF and MF involving my wife only because it was her intention going in that the boys get their fair share). The other lady has a great time with me because I am a good looking guy and know what I am doing. Even so, she quickly jumps back to my wife. I often wind up more of a cheerleader than a participant as the other woman has little interest in messing around with me for more than the absolute minimum. We state in our profile that unless agreed otherwise in advance, we play only if no one gets left out. Our profile says that we will consider FF only play (guys watching or even private FF) if they just tell us that is what they are seeking. I am amenable to occasional FF only sessions (guys watching – sex only with their partner) so long as I know up front. Yet despite the other lady assuring us in advance that she is also into men…thinks I am hot…wants to play with me etc..we discover to our frustration when we hook up that she is really only interested in my wife. Our attempts at screening (e.g. careful profile checks, politely letting people know in emails that we don’t go for bait and switch, my wife asking the lady directly about her play expectations before we meet for drinks, and then again before we head off to play with them etc.) often fail as the couple/ladies simply are not honest about their true intentions, typically because the other guy also wants his turn with my wife. We’ve talked about stopping mid-session and telling the other couple that what is happening is just not working for us, but that would merely result in both of us going home disappointed. We are at a loss as to what to do differently to make it more fun for me while also getting her FF time. Any ideas? My wife always honestly feels badly that I am not having much fun. I do have a good time on a few occasions and want to keep at it. We’ve discussed just looking for straight couples,but doing so would cut out all her FF play opportunities with couples. We’ve also discussed her having her own second profile seeking other Bi women for private 1 on 1 girl play (no men involved). I would rather her have fun, albeit separately, than neither of us have any fun. I think it would almost be easier on me to have her do private FF, rather than continue with what is happening now when we play as a couple. I think that I would be ok with her having her own profile and separate FF play and us looking for mostly straight couples, but won’t know until she actually did so and played with another lady privately. Should I agree for her to do so? Sincerely, (Anonymous)

Dear (Anonymous), Only agree on what you feel confortable with? If you're okay with it, go through with that plan. Perhaps you should try out some straight couples. That way, you're gauranteed to have a fair amount of play. If you're with a bi-woman couple, don't just allow this to happen to you. Your wife can play a big part of this. If the girl play is getting to be too much, she can cut it off and direct things in a more favorable manner. She can probably have more of an impact than you in these situations.   ASKROBYN

Dear Lounge Advice, We are not receiving many responses from people. Our profile has been looked at over a hundred times; however, we do not get any emails. We don’t consider ourselves models, but we are not homely either. We do get wishlisted but nothing else. Any advice? Sincerely, (Anonymous)

Dear (Anonymous), Have you followed up with those who wishlisted you? Sometimes wishlisting can be a passive aggressive way for some people to show their interest. Follow up and show your interest to get the ball rolling. Alswo, do you wait for the e-mails, or do you take the initiative to reach out and do the contacting. Waiting for contact won't get you anywhere. You need to make the first move to increase your chances. One last thing- Your profile text is sparse. You may want to consider beefing it up just a bit more.   ASKROBYN